3rd Place Winner (2006 Nurse Essay Contest)

As a Nurse, What Legacy Do You Hope You Leave for the Future
by
Margaret Bottcher, RN

Words are not my specialty.  I don’t have the flair to take all those thoughts swirling around in my head and put them nicely on paper.  When I am driving in the car my thoughts can be very eloquent.  When I get a piece of paper (or a computer screen) in front of me my sentences are slow and choppy.  I want to share my thoughts with you so forgive my lack of eloquence. 

I like to think that I will leave a legacy of hope.  When people ask me what I do and I tell them I work with kids with cancer, they tell me "I could never do that!  I am too_____________."  Take you pick of words: sensitive, caring, emotional.  I know the truth.  They cannot do what I do because they don’t have enough hope.  I have hope because I believe.  I believe I make a difference.  I believe better things will come.  I believe that there is goodness in the world.  Maybe that makes it all seem too simple, but I do believe that hope is the key.  I believe that in pediatric oncology you will find more optimists than in other areas. 

I share my hope with the patients and families.  I have an endless supply.  My hopes are not always the same.  I have hope that they will defeat their cancer.  I have hope that they will go home, go to school, grow up, have children of their own, and come back to visit me in the future.  I have other hopes too.  I hope to give them support and strength.  I hope families know how much we cherish their child.  I hope they feel loved and cared for by all of the wonderful people who take care of them at the hospital.  I hope that the hospital can be a safe place for them when they cannot be home.  I hope for a good quality to their life.  I hope for an end to their pain.  I hope for wonderful warm memories to sustain their family if they are not able to defeat the cancer.  I hope for their memory to be carried by many people.  I hope for the memory of those we cured and those we helped but could not cure to sustain us in the future. 

I am lucky because I have touched people’s lives.  Many people are not as lucky as I am.  I am entrusted to be part of the team that cares for a child and their family.  I might have helped to save a life.  On the other hand, not all of my patients have survived their disease.  Yet I have touched all of their families.  I hope that I was a positive influence.  But it is not just the families or patients who need my hope.  I share it with the other members of the healthcare team.  All of us run low on hope sometime.  I too must admit that on occasion I hope for a quiet day.  Sometimes I just hope that I will remember all the things I have to do. But usually I hope that things will go well for the patients. 

I hope that we intrude as little as possible on their lives of our patients and families.   But I also hope that when they need us we are here.  I hope when they need to talk with someone they can pick up their phone and call me or open the door to their hospital room and find a friendly face.  I hope that we can listen when they need to talk.  I hope that we can help them carry their burden  when it is too heavy.  I hope they never feel alone on their journey.  I hope we see the child and the family rather than the disease.   I hope that parents know how blessed they are to have their child.  Each child is a blessing and I hope everyone who is touched by a child knows how lucky they are.  Oh, the hopes I have for you…………